


It's Not a Long (Enough) List

by Ziggy_Scardust



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abusive Dursley Family (Harry Potter), Canon Compliant, Companion Piece, Dursley Family Bashing (Harry Potter), Gen, Ginny finds out how badly Harry was treated, Ginny starts to understand Harry a bit better, Harry hears "I love you" for the first time at the age of FOURTEEN sfjkafhsdaijhf, I can't I can't this kid deserved so much better, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, The Dursleys took so much from Harry and I will never forgive them, saying "I love you"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:35:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28177755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ziggy_Scardust/pseuds/Ziggy_Scardust
Summary: Companion fic to taizi's "brighter than the sun" in which Ginny probes a bit and it turns out that Harry hasn't heard the words "I love you" nearly enough times.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Sirius Black & Harry Potter
Comments: 2
Kudos: 75





	It's Not a Long (Enough) List

**Author's Note:**

  * For [taizi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taizi/gifts).
  * Inspired by [brighter than the sun](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11780271) by [taizi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taizi/pseuds/taizi). 
  * Inspired by [brighter than the sun](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11780271) by [taizi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taizi/pseuds/taizi). 



> So, taizi wrote a lovely fic about Rita Skeeter publishing a sordid "tell-all" interview with the Dursleys so that everyone finds out about Harry's childhood abuse in great detail without his permission, and Ron goes & comforts Harry because he's The Boy Who Cared(TM). 
> 
> I wrote a companion fic in which Ginny & Harry say "I love you" for the first time (not long after the Battle of Hogwarts) and later on she learns more about Harry's past from said interview with Skeeter. Not that she didn't more or less know, but it brings a few things into sharp relief for her. So, she wonders how many times he's even heard anyone say "I love you" to him. Which. Is not enough times.

They were outside under the apple tree, their brooms over their shoulders, left behind by the others after the makeshift game of Quidditch. The sun had not quite started to set, but the light was turning the golden of the late afternoon. Harry was grinning at her, though she could not see his expression properly with the light behind him. And she told him. Quite simply. He’d been living with them for months, helping put the pieces back together after Fred, and they’d struck up, well, something again. And suddenly she realized she was happy, without feeling guilty about being happy after losing a brother. Happy in a way that made her think Fred would have been happy about it. And she’d always worn her heart on her sleeve.

“You know,” she said softly, still smiling. “I think I love you.”

Even with his face in shadow, she saw his eyes widen behind his glasses. There was a moment, it seemed, when neither of them breathed. And then Harry let out a small, relieved chuckle.

“Well, that’s a relief,” he said. “I was trying to work out how to tell you the same thing.”

“What do you mean, “ _how_ ”?”

“Well…I was nervous. How was I to know you’d say it back?”

She wrinkled her nose at him. “You honestly believe I wouldn’t?”

“Not if I thought about it, no. But, you know, it’s nerve-racking.”

She shook her head at him. Men complained women were complicated, but this had been so simple. She had felt it, and she said it. That was it.

“Come on, then, my _beloved_ ,” she said jokingly. “Mum’ll kill us if we’re late for dinner.”

* * *

Events of “brighter than the sun” by taizi - do read, it’s lovely. 

* * *

_ Five months later _

They met in Hogsmeade just before Christmas. Ginny was nervous; excited, happy, of course, but nervous in a strange way. The last time they’d been apart for longer than a day or two - well. And she hadn’t seen him since the interview had been published. They’d written, they’d had the occasional Floo chat, she’d told him how sorry she was about what he’d had to put up with, Ron had (separately) reassured her it was taken care of, and that had been it.

Still. She was curious. She didn’t like to ask, but it was Harry. Did she have a right to know, as a girlfriend of six months? Was it six months or were they counting the previous time? _Bugger_.

Hermione looked up from across the dormitory. “Pardon?” she said sardonically, an eyebrow raised, and Ginny realized she’d spoken aloud.

“Nothing,” muttered Ginny. Hermione was a good confidante, and gave good advice, but…no. She felt stupid even thinking about it.

Later on, in the Hog’s Head (Aberforth took it as a personal affront for Harry not to patronize his pub when in the area), when Hermione had left for her weekly tea with McGonagall, Ginny looked over at Harry. For once, he looked utterly at peace. Surely, she thought, her one curiosity couldn’t spoil that? He hadn’t wanted to talk about the Dursleys, even after the interview, but this wasn’t specifically about them, was it?

“I have a question,” she blurted, before she could stop herself.

“Oh?” he answered lazily, leaning back in the booth, sipping at his bottle of Butterbeer.

“But…” she started toying with her glass, more uncomfortable than ever. “You don’t have to answer. In fact - oh, it’s stupid, just forget it.”

“Spit it out, Gin,” said Harry calmly. “If I don’t want to answer, I won’t, and I probably won’t be annoyed at you asking whatever.”

“Was I - has anyone - has anyone else ever said that they love you?”

His brow furrowed, and she hastened to clarify. “I just meant - after I read that - that interview - I wasn’t sure.” His left eyebrow went up, and she continued, “I mean, when I said it to you the first time, you acted so nervous. And later on, I made the connection - you know, with my family and everything, I probably heard “I love you” nearly every day growing up, so it was easier for me, but you were much more nervous, and…”

“Still jealous of Cho, are we?” Harry interrupted her with a note of humor she had not expected, and she relaxed.

“No,” she said, with a relieved sigh and the ghost of a grin. “I was just - wondering.”

“Well, you don’t have to wonder about Cho,” he said, looking reflective. “We snogged in the DA room, we went on one date, which was a fiasco because she got jealous of Hermione - “ he snorted “- and then I was a bit tactless about Cedric. We sort of fell apart not long after. Marietta was the nail in the coffin.”

Ginny nodded. She more or less knew that.

“Non-romantically,” he began, and then stopped to think.

“The fact that you have to _think_ about it…” she said, a bit sadly, then stopped. Harry hated to be pitied.

“Not like I’m lacking for it now, am I?” he grinned lopsidedly at her, then his face went somber again.

“Ron did, when he broke down the door of Grimmauld Place after that interview of Skeeter’s,” he said, a bit awkwardly. Ginny nearly choked.

“ _Ron_? I mean - not that he doesn’t - “

“Yeah, I know, he’s about as good at talking about his feelings as I am,” said Harry, looking down at his Butterbeer. “Not that I hadn’t gathered. After the battle, he told me I wasn’t allowed to die again, that burying one brother was enough.” A small smile played at the corner of his lips.

“Hermione said it, before she left to find her parents in Australia, when Ron and I went to see her off.” Ginny nodded; Hermione, at least, she’d expected.

“And Sirius, once.” He spoke quietly, as if it still hurt. She surmised it probably did.

“Just the once?” she asked, and immediately regretted it. But Harry did not react, continuing to stare down into his Butterbeer on the table.

“Well, you knew him,” said Harry. Ginny nodded. “Less likely to open up than me, even. Not sure if that was Azkaban, or just him. Seeing his mum, he could always have been that way.”

“He did, though,” said Ginny softly. “That was obvious. He worried himself sick over you when you got attacked by those Dementors.”

“I know,” said Harry, raising the bottle to his lips again, then setting it down. “He only told me the one time, and it was almost in passing. After the third task in the Triwizard, after Crouch tried to kill me, he was there in Dumbledore’s office when I told him what happened. And Sirius had to listen to that - and he - well - he didn’t take it well.” Ginny pretended not to notice Harry’s hand shaking slightly; Harry, in turn, gripped the neck of the bottle.

“And before Dumbledore took me to the hospital wing, he nearly cracked my ribs trying to hug me, and told me how sorry he was about the whole thing, and that my parents had loved me, and he loved me, and they’d never have wanted any of this. I think he was just barely keeping himself together, his words were a bit jumbled.” He paused. “That was the first time anyone had ever said that to me - that I can remember, I suppose. But he didn’t know that.”

“Did he know - any of it?”

Harry’s eyes crinkled in a sad smile. “Right, I forgot, you were out of the house with Tonks and Hermione the day he blasted apart the cupboard under the stairs in Grimmauld Place. Yeah, he found out later on, after Ron made a joke about the bars, and he overheard.”

“And blasted apart the cupboard,” finished Ginny.

“Yeah,” said Harry fondly. “He did talk to me about it a bit. Still wasn’t one to say anything particularly heartfelt, but he told me I was never going back there if he could help it, that his offer to live with him still stood.” He looked up at Ginny. “You know, he asked me to live with him the very first time we met?”

“What, you mean, in the middle of the night in the Shrieking Shack when Lupin transformed and all the Dementors attacked you?”

Harry laughed softly. “Yep, exactly. Not the best of circumstances.” He took another sip. “It was strange, you know. What was left of my family had never wanted me, and suddenly someone did. Not that your parents weren’t great - amazing, actually - but I wasn’t _their_ kid, y’know? Sirius just acted like I was his kid. Right from the start.”

“I think Mum would disagree about you not being part of our family,” Ginny responded, feeling her lips curve into a small smile. Harry laughed.

“I think,” he answered, “she’s glad I’m not actually her son, considering how happy she was about us getting together.” He took a sip of Butterbeer. “Still, she and your dad had all of you to think of first. And they’ve always been so good to me, having me to stay and everything, but I was still a _guest_ , you know?”

Ginny nodded, swallowing hard. Harry continued. “Not that Grimmauld Place was much of a home or anything - it’s loads better now, you should see what Ron and I did - but yeah. Sirius was planning legal action to get custody of me after the cupboard-blasting incident, Kingsley told me. I might actually bring a suit against the Ministry, for that and for other things on his behalf, they’re in an atoning sort of mood.”

“Hermione did mention something about that,” Ginny murmured, looking into space. Harry nodded. “Yeah, she’s helped me a bit. Not an immediate priority, but it’ll happen.” He took another sip.

“And that’s it?” asked Ginny.

“Unless you count your mum saying I was as good as a son a couple of years ago, that’s it,” affirmed Harry with a nod. “Not that it really sank in very well the first time I heard it, not in the state I was in after the graveyard.”

Ginny looked at him, and he shrugged. 

“Like I said, I’m not lacking for it now.”

**Author's Note:**

> As I get older I get ever sadder over how much Harry suffered as a child (and let's be clear, he was a CHILD through all seven books.) I have a headcanon that Sirius was the first person that Harry remembers saying "I love you" to him, though he's not a very emotionally open or stable person either. And that particular headcanon is quite a sad one because it means Harry didn't hear anyone say that until he was at least fourteen years old. 
> 
> (If you want to read my thoughts on how that moment went down, feel free to read my other work "After the Task".)


End file.
